Homosexual
by MidnightMeadow
Summary: Chad is being what he isn't, and how will it all end? Dedicated to... Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase, Billy Lucas and others who have committed suicide because of peer pressure for being what they are. ONE-SHOT.


_DEDICATED TO_ … Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase, Billy Lucas and others, who have committed suicide because of peer pressure for being what they are.

* * *

Kids in my class use to call me names for being slightly different than others. Nothing went right for me when I was in elementary school. Everybody teased me for what I was born as. I thought having no feelings for girls was a normal thing.

In school, was bullied, tortured, and my heart were torn into pieces. Teachers tried to stop, but students did not listen. The words spread across the neighborhood, and everyone turned and stared at me with unpleasant looks when I walked pass by.

That was the reason why I felt ashamed of myself, and took the long way home after school so no one could see me. I was disappointed in myself for being a different person, so I was the _loner_ without any friends, or anyone to be my partner for gym. Teachers use to put me with a random kid and the kid always use to groan, and stare at me when our eyes met.

I graduated in grade 8, and quickly moved away like the wind just disappearing by. I had to be someone who I wasn't in high school. I was _supposed_ to like girls. So I took the chance, and looked at every girl in high school. There were many with good bodies, and pretty faces, but no one could attract me for some reason even though I've went out with them, and did everything I could do to fall in love with them. In fact, while all that was happening, I was attracted to a guy who sat across from me in math class.

Even if I was sitting with bunch of girls hanging on my arms chatting and laughing, I felt nothing for them, I was just slightly glancing at the guy who was sitting right across from me in the field. It was torture, and it was painful. I also felt guilty, and sorry for lying about who I was. But, I couldn't blabber my secrets out, and be selfish and have the frustrating times of elementary school all over again. I tried, and tried really hard to look at the girls with a glamorous body, but that just didn't work for me.

Nothing was comfortable for me in high school. Four years was torture, and was painful. I was cautious of who will find out that I am not a person I was, I was careful of who I am. I was careful that I wouldn't go and fall in love with a boy.

Then there was this boy, named Chris Greenland. Brown hair, brown eyes, and pretty pale. He was fit, and tall. I've fell in love with him as I got to know him more and more in geography class. He was popular by many girls, and was a friendly person. Chris and I got closer and closer as the year passed, and I've fell deeper and deeper into him.

* * *

Then one day, something happened between Chris and me around 9 o'clock in the night. We were at his house drinking beer and pops and having a good time with other friends, until one of us asked Chris,

" how do you feel about homos? "

My heart thud down and suddenly started to pound as if it was going to explode. I chocked on my drink, and started to cough. The boys laughed their asses off, and started to tap me on my back, and got back to the question. _What did Chris feel for homosexuals_?

He smiled, and I smiled – we were nearly out of our minds because of all the sugar that we were taking in our body, and some of us were on crack anyways. No one was going to listen to his answer, but me, and the questioner.

" They're – pretty disgusting. I mean _come on_, what kind of a guy would have feelings for _dicks_? "

My heart crashed down, and torn into pieces even though I knew his answer from the beginning. The crowd started laughing again. I had one last hope in my mind that at least he would be different, and treating everyone well, no matter what they are. He was an understanding person to everything, and that made me think that he'll understand a situation for a guy like me.

I smiled pitifully, just laughing, but kind of off with the crowd. He was smiling innocently, as if nothing happened, knowing a person in the moment has his heart crushed and torn. _Disgusting_. That was his answer.

" how about you Chad? " somebody asked, " you in for homos? "

I couldn't answer the question, and shut my mouth silent. I didn't know what answer to give. Yes, or no. two of the simple answers will change my life with them. Either I'll be called as a normal person, or I'll be teased, and ripped into pieces again. Though, I answered nothing. People didn't care if I was going to answer or not anyways. I putted my beer bottle on the table, and silently got up, and left the noisy house filled with smells of weed, and beer to the silent and peaceful night sky, listening to the depressing melody of torn heart beating hopelessly. This was worse than the elementary school days. I really loved Chris with all my heart.

* * *

Few days after that, somehow, everything was spilled to the world. I was revealed that I am a homosexual. Probably somebody from my elementary school have blabbered it out to the world. I was torn again. People gave me looks, and no one came closer to me. People called me disgusting, and disappointed. Every one of my friends was against me on the other side of the bridge, telling me I shouldn't be living in this world as a guy, who has feelings for a guy.

So there I was again, torn into pieces, and left with the loneliness. I was alone inside a deep dark spot, where nobody came to me, nor did I go to them. Sometimes, they would come and hit me on some certain places, and tell me to go die, or leave the school.

The teachers hardly gave me any attention, or any sweet talks, nor yelled at me for what I do. They just handed me an assignment, and I would do it, and they would mark it. That was the furthest I could go with the teachers. Nothing was done this time, I was alone, and everyone was against me.

As the time spent, the cruelty on me was getting harder and harder. They teased me to suck their cocks, and told me to go die. Some of them actually aimed to beat me up to death, and enjoyed the entertainment of me getting bloody everyday. Girls gave me bitchy looks at me with their narrow eyes, and laughed with a whisper in each others ears.

I couldn't take it anymore. That was it. I couldn't handle the ripped pieces of my heart getting ripped smaller, and smaller. I angrily walked up the stairs to the top of the school, and people were already with the news, and looked at me from the bottom. I smiled pitifully at them. Some were telling me to fall down, and some were telling me to stop.

" _Stop_? " I asked, " _none _of you were there for me. " I shouted with tears bursting out of my eyes. " As I was getting beat up, none of you were there to stop them. " " and now you're telling me to stop? For what reasons? Sympathy? Pity? "

People started to become silent, but I still stood there with falls of tears running down my cheeks.

" If it's that, I don't need those anymore. " I cried, " You guys have torn me, and ripped me into pieces. How in the world am I going to know what are you guys going to do when I go down? " I asked, " you guys wanted me to die, so I am dying. What do you want now? "

The moment became silent, and the police cars arrived at the school, blasting their lights on, and telling me to stop from way below.

" You guys, just killed another person who was born like this. " I shouted, " All of you. None of you were there to stop the cruelty. " I cried, " Don't ever do this to another person. I _beg _you. "

I glanced a look at the crowd, and there I saw, Chris. With worry filled in his eyes. The world became silent; I leaned forward, and saw him screaming at me to stop. I smiled pitifully. How stupid would that look?

Then, I head down from top of the school, to the ground. The wind crossing my body was comforting, and welcoming me to the sky. I was flying without wings… but gaining wings while you're at it. I felt happier and peaceful as I headed to the ground, and everything blacked out, became silent, and I was there with a bunch of crowd around me saying if I'm dead or not. I couldn't move a muscle; everything was paused, and stopped. That day, was the day I was free at last.

* * *

- This isn't really a fanfiction, but it is dedicated to 6 boys who have committed suicide because they're homosexuals**.**

- I'm sorry if this fanfiction disturbed you, or you don't like how Chad dies in the end. I tried to make sure I wouldn't put the name _Chad _as much as possible.

- If this fanfiction becomes a problem, please message me. I will put it down as soon as possible.

- If you guys can, it will be really nice for the six boys who have died to wear **purple** on_ Wednesday, October 20th._ To remember, and to love them for once.

- _REST IN PEACE_. Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase, Billy Lucas, and others who have committed suicide because of what they are.


End file.
